Lesson 14

It almost hurts to write this one. It's been a couple years now since I made any posts. I sort of stopped even occasionally posting the last 2 years. Dad has been doing so well with his heart, and you boys are growing. I don't like it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I want you to grow and be happy, but I want you to stay little forever. It really hit me this week that in just 6 months you're going to be in Kindergarten. KINDERGARTEN! I find myself having the same thoughts I had with your brother. I thought that the 2nd time around it would be easier, but I think it's harder. The mommy guilt is worse. I find myself wondering if you were somehow cheated out of time because I've been active in the school. I worry that I just haven't "done" enough. I'm making mental lists of things you're always asking to do so that we can do them just one more time before you start school. I know how this ends, you're going to become more independent, and eventually that "one more tea party" is going to be the last one, and I won't even recognize it when it happens. Or worse, I try to do some chores while you finish your milk. Which brings me to lesson 14...


The fact of the matter is, I KNOW we've done things together. We've gone to parks, and your favorite fast food places, and I've taken you skating and to the mall to play. Maybe not as frequently as we *could* have, but enough that I know that you'll look back on when you were this young and remember fun things. Kids are better at that than adults. See, when you're a kid, everything has your full attention. It doesn't seem like it so much to adults, but whatever you're doing, that's what you're doing. You're not playing in sand and thinking about the snacks you have to make next week. I try really hard to make sure I "smell the roses" when we do things. If you ever think back to when you were younger and just caught me starring, probably with a goofy grin that's probably what I'm doing. Make sure you do that. I know, you can't be 100% present with 100% everything all the time. but make sure you try. I had an instructor in high school that used to say that people rarely appreciate the life and beauty around them. He said, somewhere there has been the most beautiful thing, it could be a leaf or a sunset, or just a pretty color on a wall, and no one even noticed it. He'd say, "think about all the things you've missed because you were too busy thinking about other things. Remember to take awe in life, you only live it once." And THAT was before smart phones! ;) Ever since then, I try to make sure I do that. I try to soak in as much as I can. I can't do it every moment of every day, but I do and I find it comforts me when I think times is moving too fast. There's an old saying, "The days are long, but the years are short." It's true.