Lesson 14

It almost hurts to write this one. It's been a couple years now since I made any posts. I sort of stopped even occasionally posting the last 2 years. Dad has been doing so well with his heart, and you boys are growing. I don't like it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I want you to grow and be happy, but I want you to stay little forever. It really hit me this week that in just 6 months you're going to be in Kindergarten. KINDERGARTEN! I find myself having the same thoughts I had with your brother. I thought that the 2nd time around it would be easier, but I think it's harder. The mommy guilt is worse. I find myself wondering if you were somehow cheated out of time because I've been active in the school. I worry that I just haven't "done" enough. I'm making mental lists of things you're always asking to do so that we can do them just one more time before you start school. I know how this ends, you're going to become more independent, and eventually that "one more tea party" is going to be the last one, and I won't even recognize it when it happens. Or worse, I try to do some chores while you finish your milk. Which brings me to lesson 14...


The fact of the matter is, I KNOW we've done things together. We've gone to parks, and your favorite fast food places, and I've taken you skating and to the mall to play. Maybe not as frequently as we *could* have, but enough that I know that you'll look back on when you were this young and remember fun things. Kids are better at that than adults. See, when you're a kid, everything has your full attention. It doesn't seem like it so much to adults, but whatever you're doing, that's what you're doing. You're not playing in sand and thinking about the snacks you have to make next week. I try really hard to make sure I "smell the roses" when we do things. If you ever think back to when you were younger and just caught me starring, probably with a goofy grin that's probably what I'm doing. Make sure you do that. I know, you can't be 100% present with 100% everything all the time. but make sure you try. I had an instructor in high school that used to say that people rarely appreciate the life and beauty around them. He said, somewhere there has been the most beautiful thing, it could be a leaf or a sunset, or just a pretty color on a wall, and no one even noticed it. He'd say, "think about all the things you've missed because you were too busy thinking about other things. Remember to take awe in life, you only live it once." And THAT was before smart phones! ;) Ever since then, I try to make sure I do that. I try to soak in as much as I can. I can't do it every moment of every day, but I do and I find it comforts me when I think times is moving too fast. There's an old saying, "The days are long, but the years are short." It's true.

Lesson 13

Last night, a terrorist group named ISIS attacked multiple spots in Paris, France. I pray to God that by the time you're old enough to read this, things like this are nothing more than a note in a history book. You and Dad REALLY got into baseball this year. It seems only fitting that they also won the World Series this year. You loved staying up and watching the game. You and Dad watched on the couch and we ate junk food every night. I felt awful that the win came 2 hours past your bedtime on a school night. If I had known with 100% certainty, I would have let you stay up. We made it to the parade though. We went and sat for 4 hours at the side of a blocked in street, half a block from Dad's office. Over 800,000 people were there. Schools closed for the day. We saw the trophy. We saw the players. It was a great day. I know you won't remember, not everything anyway. I took a lot of pictures and made sure that I paid special attention to remember everything. Which brings me to Lesson 13...


I'm not going to lie. I was also scared shitless. A couple of years ago, someone set off bombs at the Boston Marathon. A boy, not much older than you, was killed. I almost had a panic attack at the thought of us being down there with all those people. If Dad hadn't announced at the last minute that he wanted to go, I may have stayed home. I watched you guys, but I also watched people. I watched for anyone who didn't seem to belong. I watched for people who had bags. I watched for unattended bags. I watched the trashcans. BUT we went. We went and we had fun. We made memories. These assholes WANT us to be afraid. I'm not going to pretend it isn't working, but I don't want my children growing up being scared to go outside. I struggle with that almost anytime we go out to a major event at a public place. I run scenarios in my mind about how I would try my best to protect you. It's not right. No one should have those thoughts. No one should live with that fear. I'm not going to pretend to know the answer to the problem. I wish I did. All I can do is hope that it won't be a problem forever. Hope that those assholes either come to their senses or they die. Hope that the new generation of their children see what their parents are and work to be better. Until then, I have to put on my game face and have fun. Even when it scares me.

Lesson 12

This is going to be another "twin" post with your brother.

I know, I know. A long time since my last post. I know I say it every time, but we've been pretty swamped. Dad had his pacemaker put in, and just as things were getting back to normal around here, he had to go in for his valve repair. That took open heart surgery, and 6 weeks of recovery time before he's getting back into things. Let's see, we got a dog. She was a beagle. She was 7, but she kept doing her business in the floor. Even our bed. We tried our hardest to re-train her, but after 2 months we ended up taking her back to the rescue. You handled it well, Dad didn't even though he's the one that made the call. We've spent the summer swimming, going to the park, and even a couple trips to Paradise Park. We've spent a lot at home too, we got lucky and had a pretty mild summer except for a couple weeks of crazy hot. You've been swinging outside and now that you're walking, you've been running all over. It took us 2 months to find shoes to fit, you have my feet. Sorry. ;) You are all about animals right now. The cats are like living play things for you. You chase them around, run up on them while they're sleeping then come to a dead stop before you gently lie your head on them to hug them. It's adorable. Which brings me to lesson 12...


It's good to care for living things. Even just plants. It's very good for kids to do it. One day, when I have grandbabies, plant them a garden. It doesn't have to be much. We did tomato plants in 2 large planters on our deck and various herbs in some window boxes. You're not really old enough to do much but play in the dirt... you're favorite pastime. Though, you have enjoyed eating what we've grown. Which, after your brother's picky eating, I was hoping you'd be a good eater. Tending a garden helps teach skills. Patience, self sustainability, it grows a knowledge of how to care for plants, and makes kids more willing to try new foods. Right now, our herbs are looking a bit ragged, mostly because it was a learning curve for me, I've never grown and used fresh herbs, but they're great. Much cheaper too, we're going to expand next year I think. If nothing else, $50 will buy you a summer of "something to do" with the kid(s). 

Lesson 11

You were so cute for your birthday party. :) You tore into your cake, just ate and smeared it all over your face. I ended up tossing you in the tub before presents. You're almost walking. You just need a little bit more confidence, you've already learned the walking part, and a few times you've let go of the couch and stood. You're different from your brother, for now anyway, it seems like you don't have the same confidence he had at your age. I don't know why that is, I can only hope that you grow into it. Which brings me to lesson 11...


Self confidence is a hell of a thing. It's something that can't be given, but can be taken away. I was a horribly self conscious child. I was wary of everyone that spoke to me. Constantly looking for the hidden meanings in compliments, aware of people who were talking softly. It wasn't fun. I hope you don't have that experience. All I can tell you is this: When you get older, one day you'll wake up and realize you don't care what anyone but your friends and family think. Then, you'll realize that all that time you wasted being so concerned about others was a giant waste of time and energy. No one cares that in the 4th grade my foot fell asleep and I fell flat on my face when I stood up. No one cares about the time I went to work and wore 2 different shoes on accident. Those experiences aren't remembered by others, they're remembered by me. Those experiences made me who I am today and yours will form you into the adult you'll become. Hopefully, they'll make you more compassionate for others. More likely to help others. Less likely to laugh at others expense. It sucks that you can't just skip to the part where you're full of confidence, but embarrassing situations is how you learn what really matters. Hell, you may grow up to be one of the most confident people in the world, then this lesson will be worth moot.

Lesson 10

We just finished the holidays. I think your first Christmas was awesome, if I do say so myself. You stayed interested in opening packages, you LOVED your red car toy, and you were even able to eat some solid table food. Now, I'm thinking about your first birthday party. We'll have it here, and I'll probably find some place to cater food. You're getting bigger everyday, stronger, and louder too. In fact, there's not much we can do to keep you from squealing every morning at 8, which wakes up Dad. Dad had a pacemaker put in last week, you're so young, I doubt you even noticed anything different. Though, there is already a difference in how Dad can play with you. He can't lift you yet, but he already has more energy and is more excited to see you than I've seen in a long time. Which brings me to lesson 10...

Someday, there might be something you'll have to have "fixed" about your body. It could be a pacemaker like Dad, or it could be something as simple as a diet change. Don't ignore the problem or wait it out. The doctors told your grandparents that Dad wouldn't need a pacemaker until he was much older and only if he fainted. Your Dad has never fainted, but has spent the last dozen years being tired all the time and not knowing exactly why. His quality of life has already increased past anything he had as a child. Make sure you take care of these issues because it could mean the difference between staying inside all the time because you're too tired to go out or having the energy and ability to really enjoy everything life has.

Lesson 9

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. It will be your first, I'm excited. You're clueless, though when all the people get here, I'm sure you'll have a blast. You're almost crawling, I swear I think you're going to do it every day. So far though, all I get are some scoots across the floor. You're growing so fast we can hardly keep up. I'm already dressing 8 month old you in 18 month clothes. It won't be long and you'll be running all around the house. Which brings me to lesson 9...

Mommy guilt sucks. I know that I'm staying home and seeing you and your brother way more than if I were working. I know that get to play with you and hold you all day. Even though I have cleaning and laundry to do around the house, I know that the vast majority of the time is filled playing with you both. I still feel bad when I have to do something else instead of giving you my undivided attention, or when I have to spend more time with your brother for some reason, which means you get less. That's just part of having kids. One day, you might have kids of your own, and you need to remember you can't be everything all the time. You can't be everywhere all the time. There are things you're going to miss, like seeing you do something fun when you're visiting at Nana's house when Dad and I go to the movies. It's good for you to do things without us, it will help you learn to be independent, and more outgoing. I know these are all good things, but the "mommy guilt" is still there. There's not much you can do about it, other than make sure you spend time with your kids while you can. Remember that when you have kids.

Lesson 8

Everyone has been sick. You got something last week, got over it. Then, I got something this week and gave it to everyone in the house. We've been a pleasant coughing and snorting bunch. We had one of you friends over this weekend, before we all got sick, and you watched his sister play our DS. So now, naturally, you think you should get to play it. You're actually getting the hang of it, it only took you 2 days to be able to place 3rd in MarioKart. It's been great, I've been barely able to function because of my cold (apparently, it took great joy in infecting me.) So you playing a game has been a great way to keep you entertained. You're still passing out at bedtime though, you're not 100% over the cough. If I don't drug you before bed, the congestion starts choking you as soon as you lie down. Which brings me to lesson 35...

In another lesson that will mirror your brother's, it is important to learn how to drug kids when they're sick. I know, you'd think it would be common sense, but not only did I take a couple rounds of sick kids before I figured this out, but a lot of parents I've talked to had never thought about it. Typically, cold/allergy medicine makes your brother tired. Not so tired that he'll sleep, but tired enough to be a pretty big pain until the meds either wear off or he goes to bed for the night. I didn't think there was much I could do about it, but eventually I called the doctor and they recommended giving him a 24 hour medicine instead. That took him down to one dose a day, but he was still hell on wheels after the morning dose. So, I started giving him meds 30 minutes before bedtime. It works perfect, by the time he's ready for bed, the meds have kicked in, and he's tired already so sometimes he'll fall asleep on the couch. Since they're 24 hour, he'll sleep all night and not be cranky the next morning. For meds like Tylenol, make sure you tell someone else when you're giving them, or write it down. There have been a lot of times that I was "sure I'll remember" when I gave you meds, only to forget. You've been teething since you were 2 months old. You're 7 months old now, and you have all your teeth, except your molars and you're starting to get those. So, when you're having non-stop pain, we keep you on the Tylenol on schedule, after a couple of days, we'll stop giving it to you unless you're fussy or it's bedtime. After another night or 2 we stop giving it to you completely. That way you know you're not giving meds when you don't need them, but also enough that just in case it's covered. One last thing, NEVER call medicine candy or juice. Your dad made that mistake with your brother, when he was about 2. He still begs for it.